Step 3: Naming Your Feelings
Let’s keep imagining we’re sitting by the riverbank, kind of both feeling our feelings and observing ourselves feeling the feeling. When you notice a feeling coming down the river, try to take some deep breaths and name the emotion(s) coming up.
Naming our emotions helps us become less anxious because we’re wired to be more anxious about unknown quantities. Your brain is saying, “Ah! I don’t know what that is—it could be awful!” But as soon as you can name the feeling, it becomes a known quantity, and your brain can relax to some degree because at least it knows what it’s dealing with.
A little part of a David Wilcox song pops into my head sometimes when I recognize I’m feeling afraid. He sings this beautiful line as gentle as a lullaby,
“It’s only fear, it’s only fear, it’s only fear…(that keeps us locked in here).”
And I feel some degree of comfort…oh, it’s only fear I’m feeling. Ok.
The feelings wheel
A lot of us are not very practiced at naming our feelings. A feelings wheel can be a super helpful tool to help you start identifying these mysterious energies as they appear in you.
Take a screenshot of it; keep it on your phone.
Use the wheel to tell yourself, a friend, or write in a journal regularly how you’re feeling. It is massive growth for a lot of us just to learn to be honest with ourselves that these feelings all exist in us.
Getting familiar with each of them is the next step.
Get to know how each feeling shows up in your body, and you can learn to recognize them even earlier.
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