What Does Jesus Say About Divorce?

Alright, so that’s enough of the Old Testament for now. Christians often say the Old Testament shows us a God of law and judgment, while the New Testament shows us a God of mercy, grace, and compassion.

So what does the New Testament, and especially Jesus, have to say about divorce?

(If you’re someone who’s heard people teaching the Bible your whole life, I want to invite you to try to read this like it’s the first time you’ve ever heard it…)

First, some context 

Some scholars say antagonistic Pharisees often asked Jesus about divorce because they were trying to trap him.

The Roman ruler of Galilee (where Jesus was) had recently married his brother’s wife. He divorced his wife, and she divorced the brother so they could be together. This was the big juicy news, and everyone was taking sides.

One school of law/Pharisees interpreted Deuteronomy 24:1 to mean that a husband could divorce his wife for literally anything, including burning a meal or wanting to marry someone prettier (like, those are the actual examples the law gave), while others believed marriages should not be dissolved so easily. 

Taking sides in this case proved to be high stakes. The new wife ordered John the Baptist's head chopped off(!) because he said that their divorce and remarriage was wrong and essentially adultery. (Mark 6:17ff NIV) 

So it’s not too hard to imagine that people wanting Jesus out of the picture might try to get Jesus to take a hard line against the celebrity wedding.

How does Jesus respond to this potential trap? 

Jesus made it a point that divorce should be official, and, at significant risk, he said that leaving one marriage directly for another was kind of just “officialized” adultery. 

“31 It has also been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, brings adultery upon her. And he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. (Matthew 5:31)

But that’s not all he said… Right before this, he ups the ante with the Pharisees by saying:

27 “You have heard that it was said, Do not commit adultery. 28 But I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matt. 5)

Whoa…

Jesus said these things in the middle of what has become known as the Sermon on the Mount: a long listing of upping the ante that can maybe be best summarized by verse 48.

48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Um, pretty high bar. But then Jesus goes on to say, 

“Do not judge, so that you won’t be judged. 2 For you will be judged by the same standard with which you judge others, and you will be measured by the same measure you use. 3 Why do you look at the splinter in your brother’s eye but don’t notice the beam of wood in your own eye?” (Matt. 7)

It sounds a lot of another time Jesus talked with some Pharisees about adultery...

1 Jesus returned to the Mount of Olives, 2 but early the next morning he was back again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and he sat down and taught them. 3 As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd.

4 “Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”

6 They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. 7 They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” 8 Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.

9 When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. 10 Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”

11 “No, Lord,” she said.

And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”

(John 8, NIV)

So beautiful. (And talk about a non-anxious presence!)

That is how Jesus responds.

It seems to me that when the ‘Super Jews’ of the day were trying to condemn people (well, worth noting—they brought the woman caught in the act of adultery...not the man...interesting…doesn’t ‘caught in the act’ mean the man was there, too?) and basically tattle on, shame, and trap others, Jesus reminds them that they aren’t perfect either.

And to the woman who is no-chance-of-denying-everybody-knows-she’s-guilty-of-the-“worst”-thing caught, he still doesn’t condemn her. He protected her. And I have to believe he said gently, “Go and sin no more.” 

Jesus’ “Look, you guys aren’t perfect either…I don’t condemn you” feels like it could be enough to set the standard for how we can respond.

But, in case you’ll hear it better from a secular voice, this is how Alain de Botton, a decidedly secular philosopher, says it:

“The root of kindness is knowing that you are ‘sinful.’ If you can accept that you are not a totally good person, then you can start to accept that others are not going to be totally good either. You can learn to forgive them, to expect forgiveness of the things you’ve done wrong, and to forgive them in turn.”

I appreciate how Jesus isn’t naively being like, yeah, it’s all good! He’s able to directly say, :/ not great, and I don’t condemn you.

NEXT UP:

What About Paul?

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